2005-04-04 - 1:55 a.m.
It has been so many years since MLK was shot. It is my sis' b b-day today.
i am in the boondocks, palmdale. J came home yesterday. I picked him up from the airport. He's here to stay. Excited and hopeful.
Been taking care of my niece for the last six days. It was wierd to wake up and not see her come into my room today at the crack of light. early early.
i hit a breakthrough on thurs. i took care of siona for a couple hours and Resh was supposed to be home soon from a girls night out but siona's diaper needed to be changed and she needed a bath. everytime i got close to her with the pampers she started to scream and she wanted me to read her a book but she was starting to smell hella whack hella whack.
so eventually i just had to hold her down and change her diaper while she screamed her lungs out. it is not a comfortable feeling, a 2 year old screaming her lungs out. and then I gave her a bath. It was fun but this child care stuff is hard. not so much hard it is just draining because you have to be on guard and especially after working all day there is so much to get done before you can ultimately rest.
after resh came home she wanted to still hang out with her friends so me and siona came along and I hung out with four pretty cool women of color my sister's age. chinese and korean and indian. They are all in relationships and they have kids and they do some off the hook immigrant rights work. and they were all saying what a dirth of good Asian men there are out there. Apparently this gripe extends past the South Asian men. and I think it might be that south asian men are pushed so much to achieve a level of traditional stereotypical success early on that there is no push to be well rounded. career pressure is there and most South Asian guys try to measure up on that front first and foremost.
and those of us who are well rounded, tend to be arrogant or completely spoiled. only some of us escape both.
plans for b's wedding is coming along. i have to get my license soon.
its 207 in the morning, post time change.
there is a yoga studio walking distance from Resh's house. a bit hippie but good for my purposes, for now although you cant help but think of edward said and orientalism during certain poses with certain(horrible) pronunciations.
i bought my ticket for india this thursday. i will be in this monastery/hospital in Bylakupee, Karnataka. my visa is about to come through tomorrow. con suerte.
s
