2003-09-04 - 3:59 p.m.
i got so little time to write and no time in front of a comp really. here is an old email. this rotation is actually pretty fun. and light hours.
gurm came into town this past weekend. and the ususal high energy search for partying.
trevor and steph slept over on sunday. i crashed there on friday in brooklyn. talked and ate and chilled. went to the west indian/ african day festival
in brooklyn. it was crazy packed
good good people.
though steph started a little critique of me on tuesday. she said i was bratty and my privilege made me that way. and my whateverness and easygoingness is rooted in my class....
interesting
was on call yesterday. got to go to an AA meeting as part of the rotation tonight. should be interesting
okay,
a last weeks email:
i am in my psych rotation and it is crazy. literally. HA HA . bad med humor.
some of it depresses me a bit. and it inspires me.
self love... it has to be the start of any undertaking. and i am working on it myself and trying to push little by little all these folks to believe they are valuable......
a 19 year old boy who thinks eminem is trying to kill him. took a bat to the TV and tried to kill eminem. the TV shattered and he is here.
he hears voices i think. he denies it but i saw him in his room today laughing and laughing by himself talking to nobody in particular. he sometimes has his fingers in his ears and abruptly drops them to his side when he realizes somebody is watching.
he keeps extending his hand out to me saying "you guys arent going to kick me out of here, are you. I feel so safe here" he is lost in his own world and vulnerable and flimsy as a wet bandage and i feel like i want to carry the burden of his world on my shoulders. but sometimes i feel my load will only get heavier and his will never lighten.
my other patient is 31, mentally retarded and sexually abused his 10 yr old brother. he has no insight into what he was doing and is like a big 6 foot teddy bear. He keeps saying he has to go home by labor day so he can watch the Jerry Lewis telethon on TV.
there is another girl that had shaving privileges. to shave her legs. she slashed her left arm 6 times.
i am positive though it might not sound like it. on some level nobody really means to hurt anybody else- they are just confused and sometimes haunted and there is more pain than any evil.
there is suferring- i knew that. now i am seeing it acutely since my ward is the homicide and suicide ward of the hospital. 14 patients.
anyway, i am looking forward to seeing you.
keep on the movie- cant wait to see that. tell me when you are coming around.
sri
