2002-11-18 - 12:25 p.m.
i got a parking ticket today, this morning, in NYC. it capped off my mood from the sleepless sucky end of sunday night/ talking to the sweetest of friends and fighting and feeling farther alone and farther removed, more or less the coming of the blues. when i'm fighting with her i feel like i am fighting myself and fighting a fresh start and maybe sealing the envelope on the finality of failure. lot of F's, huh... like FUCK. maybe thats a bit dramatic:)
but the last few days have been exciting and clear and fun and i just need some space, the open space of fall and trees and yellow leaves and some open terrain in my own head.
June Jordan memorial on thursday night in the city. Union Square. about 100 folks. The most tangible feeling was pride for June and the life she led. and inspired. Marina was next to me taking out the tissues now and again to wipe her tears before they fled into her mouth or the floor. Marina went to india with bhavna on an EAP UC wide trip. she is the one who told bhavna about poetry for the peeps. and that is how i got into it.
a procession of cool ass folks read cool ass things from june and about june. Xochi was off the hook reading free flight and telling a story. her story was about the thesis that she sat down and broke down to june a while back. her thesis was that since poetry is about max impact with min words perhaps there must be something about economy of size, the shortness of a person that had to do with writing serious amazing verse. June is short, xochi is short, mistral and vallejo were rumored to be small. Xochi thought, maybe we have something here, an evolutionary biological advantage short people have to writing great poetry. It was funny. June heard her out and slowly ordered another drink, leaned forward and said "lets not rule anything out just yet"
Miss Toni Morrison herself rolled into the memorial a little bit late and snuck out a little bit early. superstar status, i guess. She said that June had so many distinct narratives threading their way through her life and that she would like to particularly talk about the narrative of family life and
how it shaped june politically and personally.
Toni Morrison had these beautiful gray dreads and rosy cheeks. she looked young. black woman seem to age gracefully. i was telling marina that if she had gotten up there and said one sentence we all would be like OOOOOOH, she kept it so straight and to the point, what genius:) but the author of song of solomon, you cant help but be impressed.
Youth speaks came out and rocked the house, reading a june poem slamming Robert Haas. I was talking to the young muslim sister with her hijab from youth speaks, probably 16 years old and she was so confident and in your face and goofy.
i am looking forward to having a niece, for sheezy. kids are the only one without blame in this world as June says.
friday night. home and reading and chilling. start of numerous days of rain.
sat day. study. night- went to def poetry slam on broadway with all the NY med folks. entertaining and some awesome stuff.
after i hung out with trevor again. he met me outside the show. i had my camera and chetan and jermey really wanted a picture with russel simmons and they asked him and posed and got ready and my battery died. damn digital camera. i felt bad but i didnt think it was that big of a deal. i dont know if they did.
i went to brooklyn with trevor. ate at a little cafe. grilled cheese, he had a veg burger. and hot chocolate for the cold rainy night.
we walked from the cafe home to his house. about 20 minutes in hard rain and freezing cold with no umbrella. Most soaked i have been since before berkeley in mumbai in monsoon weather. it rained for 4 days straight in bombay that time, i remember.
got to bed at 4 am. just talking and chilling. he told me that one of his articles got published. chomsky is writing the intro. that is cool!
ate breakfast in brooklyn. i like the feel of brooklyn, people aint caught up in the rat race as much. there are families.
sunday, studied in the city. and slept at hashs. tried to see this movie on the armenian genocide. sold out. caught in rain again. went home. talked to hash.
went to sleep.
going to sleep again, now, on this monday night. in valhalla.
got a little detailess as i went along.
maybe i'll flesh out the days later.
maybe not
peace.
sri
